Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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