I got chris browned last night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
