I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
