I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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