dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
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A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?