Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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  (415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome http://tfl.nu/pei8
  Replies (45) Good night (950) Bad night (6471)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and I must say, you were very persuasive

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  (303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p
  Replies (74) Good night (18336) Bad night (1003)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go

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  (917): Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go http://tfl.nu/7nhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3112) Bad night (1159)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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  (519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3
  Replies (21) Good night (5665) Bad night (1122)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.

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  (205): She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school. http://tfl.nu/upz2
  Replies (10) Good night (1628) Bad night (2701)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..

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  (309): Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around.. http://tfl.nu/cqm4
  Replies (4) Good night (2549) Bad night (975)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.

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  (518): Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea. http://tfl.nu/ytsg
  Replies (3) Good night (2563) Bad night (628)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes

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  (+31): Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes http://tfl.nu/ymlt
  Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (3662)
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  (818): View more from California

  I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.

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  (818): I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. http://tfl.nu/hxik
  Replies (10) Good night (957) Bad night (1653)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.

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  (330): We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vjyg
  Replies (6) Good night (2183) Bad night (790)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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  (403): I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing? http://tfl.nu/frkv
  Replies (8) Good night (1181) Bad night (1666)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

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  (919): I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots http://tfl.nu/ri9x
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (349)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season

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  (601): I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season http://tfl.nu/0ij4
  Replies (7) Good night (474) Bad night (1285)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  It was awful. He had a wife

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.

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  (778): It was awful. He had a wife (1-778): And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself. http://tfl.nu/g9e8
  Replies (2) Good night (260) Bad night (403)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.

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  (440): I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house. http://tfl.nu/ronf
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (296)

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