For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
