She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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