i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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