Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
