Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
