8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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