The maid of honor just puked.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
