Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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