Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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