The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
