I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
