I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
