Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize