i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
