Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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