what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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