its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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