Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
