and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
