she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
