The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
