you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
