"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
