so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
