i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
