she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
