Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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