Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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