it was like his penis was on wheels.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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