I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
