I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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