I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
