"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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