i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
