I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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