I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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