I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
