so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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