And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
