I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
