just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
