The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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