So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
