Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
