so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
