Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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