I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So many bounce houses so little time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
