ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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