I just pynch a tree in the face
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
