He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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