So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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