I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
