So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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