Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
