You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
