Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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