Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
