If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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