She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
